I’m an independent person. If you already know me, you’ll be nodding your head in agreement with that statement. But what does that have to do with fundraising?
Well, needless to say when I first began processing the fact that I had cancer, my first instinct wasn’t to look for a hand from anyone else - this was going to be my battle. As Courtney and I took stock of our newly tenuous financial situation, however, it didn’t take long to realize we’d surely be needing help at some point down the road. With months of lost wages looming, and the potential for large medical bills ahead, it was quite a frightening position to be in all of a sudden. We weren’t clear what help might look like though, and we weren’t exactly ready to start addressing the issue head on until all of a sudden an idea landed in our laps.
Unbeknownst to me, one of my dad’s best friends reached out to my old boss, Dave McGillivray, about setting up a GoFundMe page on my behalf. Dave has been an incredible philanthropist his whole life, especially when it comes to cancer. In 1978, Dave ran across the United States in 80 days to raise money for the Jimmy Fund, and while Fenway Park was his finish line for that epic endeavor, he’s never stopped fundraising for this and other worthy causes since. So you can imagine that when the idea of raising money for my situation was pitched he was fully invested right away.
By the time I found out about the whole thing the wheels were already in motion so all I had to do was jump on board. I did have my brief moment of hesitance, as this was the first step of me relinquishing some independence and giving in to the fact that there are people out there who genuinely care about me and wanted to help - I just needed to let myself accept it. I did still want some control over was the narrative of how my story was to be told, so I became involved to get the GoFundMe campaign set up and out the door in a way that felt authentic to me. Without the initiative of others, though, I don’t know if GoFundMe would have been started at all, or how long it would have taken to get off the ground.
One of the big decisions to make was what to set the fundraising goal for. Dave dreams big and wanted to go for $150K right off the bat, but I pushed for a more conservative $100K figuring there’d be no way we’d get beyond that if we even reached it at all. On my birthday, August 12th, we opened the site and what happened next felt like magic.
Within hours, the floodgates opened and thousands upon thousands of dollars began pouring into the account. In just TWO DAYS the initial $100K goal was met and then exceeded! In those first hours I couldn’t believe my eyes as I continued to refresh the website and watch the numbers climb, with names of close friend and strangers alike next to the donations. As of a few weeks ago we eclipsed the $150K mark as well, which is a number I never thought would have been attainable. With this influx of funds, Courtney and I now have a stretch of financial runway in which we don’t need to stress about money, so long as my health insurance holds up its end of the bargain. Without having to spend precious time and energy wondering where the next paycheck is coming from, I can focus on getting myself healthy, which is all that really matters right now.
So what did I actually learn from this whole experience?
It’s OK to be vulnerable. While I didn’t ask for help to begin with, I allowed myself to be vulnerable and gracious enough to receive help when it was offered, and it turned out to be the right move.
Don’t underestimate how much people care about you. While I had a hard time imagining so many people contributing to me, Dave recognized how people perceived me in the world and knew that my well-being meant a lot to everyone around me.
I’ve always thought myself to be a good, kind person, and this experience has given me overwhelming affirmation that others see that in me as well. It’s been wonderful to learn how many lives I’ve touched over the years, and the positive impression that I’ve left on others.
It has served as a good reminder about the interactions we have with people throughout our lives that may not seem of particular importance to us at the moment, but could be significant to the person on the other end of the encounter. You never know who you’re really going to connect with unless you give people your time and attention.
Tying into that, the simple credo of “Treat others the way you want to be treated,” really holds true here. It’s not something I’ve done consciously, but I think I’ve largely lived up to that standard and just by doing that it’s yielded some amazingly positive results.
While the money has been important, it’s what’s behind the money that has really opened my eyes, inspired me, and given me strength. Behind all that money are the people. As I mentioned at the start, my first instinct with my diagnosis was that this was going to be my fight, but now, I see an army of over 700 of you standing right behind me, pushing me to keep fighting - it’s truly inspiring.
I’ve learned that generosity knows no bounds. Within this group of 700+ supporters there are plenty of names I would have expected, including close friends and family members, but I was blown away by the number of old coworkers and classmates, friends of friends, tangential acquaintances, and outright strangers who decided to pitch in as well. And it’s not just the money, but the thoughtful and genuine notes that I’ve received along the way that have really stuck with me. Going forward in life, this will forever be a source of inspiration for me to pay it forward to others in need.
While independence is still a core part of who I am, this fundraising experience has really taught me that it does take a team, an army even, when going up against cancer. I’ve learned to start accepting help, monetary or otherwise, with grace, humility, and true gratitude. It’s still very early in my journey against cancer, but I know these lessons learned early on in the process will serve me well not only in the coming months and years as I battle this, but for many years beyond as well.
PS - Massive thanks once again to all those who have donated already. If you haven’t yet, and would like to, you can find the GoFundMe donation link at the top right of the homepage.
